Doubt
by Kittie Emily
Summary: The ravenette didn't believe himself to be worthy of pride from their team leader. "I sent you all to your deaths. " The Boy Wonder's voice cracked, letting the flood gates of pain and pure disappointment move through his mouth.


Waves crashed along the shore, frothed foam bubbled over the ridges of the sand as the tide pulled out taking with it sediment and some of the foam that hadn't had enough time to cling desperately to its brethren of discomposed organic matter. The sun was near the horizon, giving the world a sky glazed with hues ranging from crystalline blues to bright, fiery oranges and angry reds.

The boy's skin seemed gray in the twilight sky, eyes hidden behind a domino mask that the child's adoptive father had never once let him take off to show his teammates who he was. He understood, of course, why that was so but it still hurt to lie for the most part to them; his teammates, his pseudo family. His hands trembled as they connected around his shins, face resting on knees as his shoulders shook lightly.

On the one mission he was ever allowed to lead or lead willingly to the end, he sent his entire family to their deaths.

_All of them._

The teen felt a weight on his shoulder that flexed as it gave the muscles on his shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"You did well, Robin, for that; I am proud." It was a smooth and deep voice; a voice that only came from fairytales and legends of mermaids and princes as they swept maidens off their feet while fighting swash buckling pirates to win the loot.

The smaller of the two tried to shrink into himself. The ravenette didn't believe himself to be worthy of pride from their team leader.

"I sent you all to your deaths." The Boy Wonder's voice cracked, letting the flood gates of pain and pure disappointment move through his mouth. He was only thirteen and had sent everyone he loved to their deaths and not even cared.

He didn't care what the J'onn had said. He would have rather felt the grief then the guilt he felt now. He felt the hand on his shoulder move as he felt the ground shift next to him. Kaldur'ahm had decided to sit next to him even though he was sacrificed like a pawn?

Robin turned his face away from his teammate. He couldn't stand to look at the Atlantean, knowing his failures as a leader had ultimately cost them all their lives.

"Robin, I would have done the same thing in your position. No one would have lived, that was how the scenario was built. It was not your decision to lead us to our deaths… but know that when in doubt all of us would follow you to death without a moment's hesitation." Kaldur spoke soft, like one would speak to an injured animal. Robin didn't need to speak a lick of English to know and feel how genuine Kaldur's words were with the way they rolled off his tongue; filling the air and soaking it in understanding.

Robin shifted, looking at the Atlantean. His eyes traveled to gaze at the tattoos that adorned his arms. They were absolutely mesmerizing. The way they curled around his forearm then caressed the muscles of his biceps. He moved his eyes behind his mask to look at Kaldur's silver blue eyes that shined at him. He swore they had an almost sparkling quality to the irises the looked at him with a sickening amount of sympathy and under that laid a startling amount of acceptance. Something Robin didn't want.

"You would have, but you didn't. It was ultimately my plan that got us all killed," The Boy Wonder turned his gaze away from the leader choosing to regard the ocean that rippled in front of himself once again.

"If I had looked at the facts more closely, if I had analyzed the situation with the same skills that Batman taught me, I would have seen that something was wrong with the entire situation—" he was cut off by Kaldur shifting unsurely beside him.

"I believe there is a saying that is shared between my world and the surface world, and I find it to be very fitting to this conversation," he begun, "_'Do not dwell on what-ifs.'_ I believe would be the literal translation. What you are doing right now, my friend, is exactly that."

Dick couldn't take it anymore and placed his head in his hands. Grimacing, he started, "You don't get it Kal—"

"I do get it." Aqualad moved from his spot beside Robin and positioned himself right in front of the bird. Gently taking his hands and prying them from the masked face, he talked with a calm voice. "When we started this team, you were desperate to be in charge, to be the leader. But the mission in Santa Prisca showed that you were still not at the proper maturity level in order to lead, and do you remember what I said to you in those mines?"

"'_You are born to lead this team, maybe not now, but soon,'_" Robin quoted with a melodramatic voice. He knew the statement. It had plagued his nightmares of self-doubt.

"I said something before that, didn't I?"

"That you would carry this burden until I ready to lift it from your shoulders?" Robin question if that was the exact statement the warrior was looking for. It must have been, through the white out guards in his mask he could almost see the pride radiating off of him.

"Exactly," Kaldur continued his methodical opening of Robin's clenched fists, "and the exercise showed that you are not ready yet. I do not mean it in any degrading way, but merely as a statement. It has been a few months since the formation of the team, therefore it is quite impossible for you to have grown that much. But you have grown; this exercise was enough proof of that. You are ready to take charge temporarily and that is enough at the moment." He finished with The Boy Wonder's right hand and started on his left hand. "This exercise has also shown that I am not the best leader either—"

"What are you saying? You're the best leader, the only leader of this team!" Robin cut him off, looking shocked.

"I am a leader, but I behaved like a soldier during the exercise. I know that now, and I will strive to change that certain mindset of mine," Kaldur smiled forlornly. "Being part of the Atlantean military is certainly a different experience from leading this team. You were the one that showed it to me, Robin."

The younger of the two sat for a long moment, unsure of what to say. He opened his fist just feeling Kaldur's hands. He wasn't sure if he was expecting soft or even scaled hands but the hands he felt were slightly callused. One who worked for what he had, just like Robin himself.

"Robin, travel with me. I want to show you something." Robin's head snapped from looking at their hands to watching Kaldur stand up. The moon had risen by the time their conversation had taken its course. The Atlantean seemed to have an aura of light shining behind him. It was almost like a moment from a really bad, really corny romance novel.

"You're not hitting on me, are you Kal?" Robin blinked before watching Kaldur's blond eyebrow raise in confusion. Robin shook his head, taking the Atlantean's offered hand to pull himself into a standing position.

"We are not sparring; therefore we are not hitting each other. What do you..?"

"Nevermind, Kal, it was a joke." The Boy Wonder flashed his infamous smirk before pulling down his sweatshirt sleeves and brushing the sand of his jeans. The taller, more muscled of the two was still confused but never let go of the hand that trembled in his own. Robin, the most traumatized (he refused to believe that Miss M was worse off or that even himself was. Artemis and Conner seemed to be coping quite well. Wally was one that never dwelled on it all. But Robin was a Bat, they festered on failure until it grew into something disgusting and mutated) person by the entirety of the failed lethal mission, was still shaken and clinging desperately to the hope that it will get better.

Had he said those words to the populous during the mission?

"Never doubt yourself, Robin. You are far more capable than you will ever let on." Kaldur gave the small shaking hand an assuring squeeze, "Now, let us go. I would like to tell you about a mission failed that lead to someone being petrified to lead, yet did so selflessly even _though_ he was afraid."

"Kal, we are not talking about how Aquaman became King."

"I find the story quite interesting and inspirational."

"…fine, just _don't tell anyone_ I actually listened to it."

"You have my word, Robin."


End file.
